1 00:00:01,322 --> 00:00:02,760 _ 2 00:00:06,258 --> 00:00:08,622 _ 3 00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:14,362 Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a strange circus 4 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,048 just appeared out of nowhere? 5 00:00:16,124 --> 00:00:19,125 Oh, come on, Lisa. You love circuseses. 6 00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:20,219 I hate them. 7 00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:22,370 I've literally gotten three shut down 8 00:00:22,448 --> 00:00:23,797 just in the past year. 9 00:00:23,799 --> 00:00:27,117 Yes, but this one's only exploiting people. 10 00:00:27,119 --> 00:00:29,061 I want to see the dog-faced man. 11 00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:30,729 And the man-faced dog. 12 00:00:30,806 --> 00:00:33,065 Who walks who? 13 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,292 Mom, surely you're not... 14 00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:38,144 Step right up and see Pint-Sized Hercules, 15 00:00:38,297 --> 00:00:40,072 the world's strongest boy. 16 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,575 He's got tiny little abs. 17 00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:48,972 I'm sorry, but you're fired. 18 00:00:48,974 --> 00:00:51,750 Times have changed. You're just not the draw you used to be. 19 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,478 You're got fewer tattoos than the average chef. 20 00:00:54,496 --> 00:00:56,329 Uh, yes, but mine are... 21 00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:58,573 Mystical portals to an alternate reality. 22 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,650 Look, if kids want mystical portals, 23 00:01:00,652 --> 00:01:01,985 they'll look at their phones. 24 00:01:01,987 --> 00:01:04,680 Hand over your freak badge and your tattoo gun. 25 00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:12,253 Excuse me. 26 00:01:12,331 --> 00:01:14,664 How much to see the Illustrated Man? 27 00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:16,942 Forget it, kid. I'm retired. 28 00:01:17,093 --> 00:01:18,426 Okay, best of luck to you. 29 00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:20,094 Oh, you don't give up, do you? 30 00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:21,838 All right, have a seat. 31 00:01:22,841 --> 00:01:26,100 If you stare at one of my tattoos long enough, 32 00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,102 it tells a story... 33 00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:31,707 strange and unusual. 34 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,275 How long does it take? 35 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,795 It's a miracle! Give it two seconds. 36 00:01:36,872 --> 00:01:39,856 Strange and unusual. 37 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:51,643 What the...? 38 00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:56,315 Hello? Lady? 39 00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:58,132 Is someone down there? 40 00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:02,529 Aw, gee whiz, she's buried alive. 41 00:02:04,399 --> 00:02:06,950 Hang in there, lady. I'll get help. 42 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,330 Mom, Dad, there's a screaming woman in the woods, 43 00:02:11,406 --> 00:02:12,889 and she's buried alive. 44 00:02:12,891 --> 00:02:14,166 We got to dig her out. 45 00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:16,226 Calm down, noisy pants. 46 00:02:16,228 --> 00:02:19,654 You know your father only has a two-hour lunch break. 47 00:02:19,731 --> 00:02:22,065 But she's screaming for help. 48 00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaking of screaming women, 49 00:02:23,402 --> 00:02:25,919 I heard that Luann Van Houten 50 00:02:25,995 --> 00:02:27,787 got into a row with Miss Hoover 51 00:02:27,865 --> 00:02:31,183 for telling everyone that Luann dyes her hair. 52 00:02:31,259 --> 00:02:32,576 She's got enough trouble 53 00:02:32,578 --> 00:02:34,686 married to a dead-end dipstick like Kirk. 54 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,581 Stop gossiping, sir and ma'am. The lady's gonna run out of air. 55 00:02:37,599 --> 00:02:40,508 I used to work with that loser at Double Beef Burger. 56 00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:43,177 They play their jingle all day long. 57 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,938 Now, how did that go? 58 00:02:45,014 --> 00:02:47,257 Who cares about burger jingles? 59 00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:48,925 She's gonna die! 60 00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:53,038 I think we all know this is another one of your famous fibs. 61 00:02:53,115 --> 00:02:54,598 Yeah, like that time you said 62 00:02:54,616 --> 00:02:56,541 there was a boy in the woods crying wolf, 63 00:02:56,693 --> 00:02:58,785 and when we got there, there was no boy at all. 64 00:02:58,862 --> 00:03:00,120 Just a fat wolf. 65 00:03:03,873 --> 00:03:06,101 Oh, come on. Pick up, pick up. 66 00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:13,841 Milhouse, what are you doing? 67 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,343 Just playing a game on my phone. 68 00:03:16,421 --> 00:03:17,845 Listen to me, there's a screaming woman 69 00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:20,198 buried in the woods, and I need your help digging her up. 70 00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:21,700 No can do, Bart. 71 00:03:21,776 --> 00:03:23,109 I'm at my grandma's. 72 00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:24,536 Had my calls forwarded. 73 00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,854 I won't be back for another three days. 74 00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:29,766 We can play the screaming woman game then. 75 00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:31,601 It's not a game! 76 00:03:32,207 --> 00:03:35,213 Ugh. I lost all my high scores. 77 00:03:37,275 --> 00:03:40,626 All right, I'll just check every house in the neighborhood 78 00:03:40,703 --> 00:03:43,871 until I find the one that's missing a lady. 79 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,065 Oh, hi, Mrs. Van Houten. 80 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,959 Never mind. Glad you're not in a hole. 81 00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,643 Is something the matter, Bart? 82 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,462 There's a screaming woman buried in the woods, 83 00:03:59,464 --> 00:04:00,964 but everyone thinks I'm lying. 84 00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:04,150 A screaming woman? That does sound serious. 85 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,301 You believe me? 86 00:04:05,303 --> 00:04:07,595 Of course. Why not come inside 87 00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:11,082 and tell me more over a nice glass of milk? 88 00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:12,475 Thanks, but we should hurry. 89 00:04:12,494 --> 00:04:13,918 I don't think she has much time left. 90 00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:18,423 Time enough for one more glass of milk, I bet. 91 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,967 I shouldn't. Milk makes me sleepy. 92 00:04:23,321 --> 00:04:24,821 Milhouse should be home soon. 93 00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:27,098 Uh, he's with his hula hoop tutor. 94 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,509 I thought he was at his grandmother's? 95 00:04:29,585 --> 00:04:32,145 Oh. Whatever gave you that idea? 96 00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,381 _ 97 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,858 Bottoms up. 98 00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:42,781 Now, you must be ready for a nap. 99 00:04:42,857 --> 00:04:46,843 No... I have to save... 100 00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:48,745 ...the lady. 101 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,273 Nighty-night. 102 00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:54,125 Must stay awake. 103 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,363 Lady! Are you still alive down there? 104 00:05:07,382 --> 00:05:09,382 Give me a sign, please. 105 00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:11,643 You can't be dead. You can't. 106 00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:14,053 I'm sorry, lady. I tried. 107 00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:17,464 The one time I'm not lying to make other people look stupid 108 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,226 for believing me, and no one will believe me. 109 00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:22,136 ♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef... ♪ 110 00:05:22,213 --> 00:05:25,306 Wait, are you... singing? 111 00:05:25,383 --> 00:05:28,201 ♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef ♪ 112 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,903 ♪ Double Beef Burgers' beef-fed beef. ♪ 113 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,905 You just sang our old burger jingle. 114 00:05:32,907 --> 00:05:35,241 How could you possibly know it? 115 00:05:35,393 --> 00:05:37,560 Because the screaming woman just sang it to me. 116 00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:40,338 That's no screaming woman... 117 00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:42,656 ...it's a screaming Kirk. 118 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,917 I was wondering when you were gonna finish that thought. 119 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,215 Oh, thank you, Bart. Oh, you saved me. 120 00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:52,925 Is this the woman who buried you? 121 00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:55,836 He let Miss Hoover see him buying my hair dye. 122 00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:58,764 The shame. What choice did I have? 123 00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:01,508 Uh, she's got a point. Here in the 1950s, 124 00:06:01,586 --> 00:06:03,769 murder is much more socially acceptable 125 00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:05,938 than, uh, you know, divorce. 126 00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:08,591 - You're free to go. - A-Are you mad at me? 127 00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:10,943 Kind of seem like you're mad at me. 128 00:06:10,945 --> 00:06:14,855 Oh, honey, we'll never doubt you again. 129 00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,282 Really? 130 00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:17,709 Lisa's a communist. 131 00:06:17,785 --> 00:06:19,860 Mm. Take her away, Chief. 132 00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:27,826 Wow, your tattoos really are magic. 133 00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,036 What's that one about? 134 00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:31,614 Uh, that one tells a story of a brief period 135 00:06:31,616 --> 00:06:33,540 where I was very into the band Sublime. 136 00:06:33,618 --> 00:06:35,810 This one does something. 137 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,624 Item 22 on the agenda, 138 00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:43,401 preparations for flag day. 139 00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:44,885 Yeah, it's seven months away. 140 00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,963 And we are woefully behind. 141 00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:49,982 I'd like to get your opinion on some bunting samples. 142 00:06:50,059 --> 00:06:51,634 Oh, kill me. 143 00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:54,728 Now, uh, the price per yard on this one is a bit high, 144 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,657 but the drape will make it the comeliest thing on a pole 145 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,492 you've ever seen. 146 00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:01,661 You know you're a tragic figure? 147 00:07:01,737 --> 00:07:04,071 Like Hamlet if he was boring and a principal 148 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,165 and a... and an idiot. 149 00:07:15,338 --> 00:07:17,602 Another Gallo, barkeep. 150 00:07:17,829 --> 00:07:20,329 Uh-uh, leave the box. 151 00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:22,573 Hey, pal. You don't look like the kind of guy 152 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,490 who drinks alone just for the fun of it. 153 00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:25,334 What's eating at you? 154 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:28,412 Have you ever been forced to spend all of your time 155 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,489 with someone whose very existence 156 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:33,392 just sucks the will to live right out of you? 157 00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:37,772 What if I told you today's modern science 158 00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:40,333 has a solution to that very problem? 159 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,609 Come with me. 160 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,022 How is this possible? He-he looks just like you. 161 00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:48,524 Not he, it. 162 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,843 It's an exact robot replica of me. 163 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,162 A very hush-hush new technology. 164 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,663 _ 165 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,106 How do they work? 166 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,109 They're full of gears. Hundreds of 'em. 167 00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:02,371 Gears, of course, but you made a mechanical doppelganger 168 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:05,207 of yourself just to hang out with your best friend? 169 00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:08,469 Uh, well, Lenny's really into jigsaw puzzles, 170 00:08:08,546 --> 00:08:10,454 and I am not. 171 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,955 So, whenever he breaks one out, 172 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,716 I send in Robot Carl. 173 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:17,645 Call that number and start living your best life. 174 00:08:21,392 --> 00:08:24,710 My, my, you are quite the me. 175 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,155 Now, h-how does one power you up? 176 00:08:27,231 --> 00:08:30,065 Well, I do enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning. 177 00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:33,143 Oh, as do I. Nature's pipe cleaner, I call it. 178 00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:35,496 But you would know that, uh, being me, 179 00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:37,390 only in robot form, of course. 180 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:41,002 Yes, quite. A-And you the human me, as it were. 181 00:08:41,078 --> 00:08:43,245 - Indeed. Yes. - Very good. 182 00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,080 - Well, there you have it. - Have it, we do. 183 00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:46,248 So, how can I help? 184 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,010 I like a man who gets right to the point. 185 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,327 I know you do. 186 00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:51,404 Ah, yes, you would. 187 00:08:51,422 --> 00:08:52,738 Well, eh, shall we? 188 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,849 Lead the way. 189 00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,503 Mm... 190 00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,580 Hmm... 191 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,524 Have a good day, Superintendent. 192 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,526 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 193 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:08,362 I don't think my programming would allow it. 194 00:09:15,112 --> 00:09:18,289 What are you doing here? I... I just saw you at the school. 195 00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:29,866 How... how are there two of you? 196 00:09:31,376 --> 00:09:32,887 I ordered a robot me 197 00:09:32,964 --> 00:09:34,889 so I wouldn't have to be around you anymore. 198 00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:37,466 What? You don't Robot-Skinner me, 199 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,393 I Robot-Chalmers you. 200 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:41,211 You're the annoying one. 201 00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:42,638 And you're the mean one. 202 00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,548 Oh, you'd yell your name at you 203 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,625 if you had to deal with you, too. 204 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:49,886 I would find myself highly tolerable. 205 00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:52,222 Guy from the bar that night, thank God I found you. 206 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,317 You got to destroy that robot before it's too late. 207 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,652 What's wrong with the robots? 208 00:09:56,727 --> 00:09:57,728 I don't know what happened. 209 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,321 Something with the gears, maybe. 210 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,249 Good God. 211 00:10:01,325 --> 00:10:03,642 Robot Carl started thinking for himself, 212 00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:05,494 and it wasn't pretty. 213 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,089 Last night, the robot tells me he planned a trip 214 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,999 to Niagara Falls for him and Lenny. 215 00:10:10,075 --> 00:10:11,425 Well, that sounds like fun, 216 00:10:11,502 --> 00:10:15,504 so I says, "I'm going because I'm the real Carl." 217 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,823 And then he starts crying, 218 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,416 which they ain't supposed to do. 219 00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:21,494 But when I tried to shove him in his crate, 220 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,420 that wind-up dingus fought back 221 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,772 with robot super strength. 222 00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:27,275 So I did the only thing I could. 223 00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:31,112 You got to act fast. 224 00:10:31,188 --> 00:10:33,506 Once the robots start feeling emotions, 225 00:10:33,524 --> 00:10:35,741 there's no telling what could happen. 226 00:10:38,879 --> 00:10:41,530 Uh, children, we have recently become aware 227 00:10:41,532 --> 00:10:43,882 of an extraordinary human concept. 228 00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:45,792 It's called friendship. 229 00:10:45,794 --> 00:10:47,645 Dear God, emotions. 230 00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,054 We're too late. 231 00:10:49,056 --> 00:10:51,373 In order to promote friend-making, 232 00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:53,633 students are encouraged to call their teachers 233 00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:55,711 by their first names. 234 00:10:55,713 --> 00:10:56,820 First-name-calling? 235 00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:58,155 No, that can only lead to 236 00:10:58,232 --> 00:10:59,973 the breakdown of the social order. 237 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,717 Wanton high-fiving. 238 00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:03,810 T-shirts worn as real shirts. 239 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,979 Well, let's give it a try, shall we? 240 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,223 Hello, Seymour. 241 00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:09,649 Howdy, Gary... 242 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,343 You like feelings, huh? How does my fist feel? 243 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,605 Go back to hell, you bionic bastard. 244 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,028 This is the best assembly ever! 245 00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:40,013 Don't shoot! 246 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,256 I'm the real Chalmers. 247 00:11:41,258 --> 00:11:42,941 He's lying. Shoot him. 248 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,276 Shoot the one on the left. 249 00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:45,703 - Right. - Left. - Right. 250 00:11:45,779 --> 00:11:47,596 - Left. - Right. - Left. 251 00:11:47,598 --> 00:11:50,624 Shoot 'em both. It's the only way to be sure. 252 00:11:52,603 --> 00:11:55,120 Look, look, we were wrong to play God. 253 00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:58,048 But if there's anything I have learned from all of this, 254 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,551 other than don't make robots of yourself, 255 00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:02,202 it's that I could afford 256 00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,972 to be a little bit nicer to you, Seymour. 257 00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:08,041 Skinner! 258 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,893 He's obviously the robot! 259 00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:12,730 Shoot him! God, you're an idiot! 260 00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:16,400 I know the real Chalmers when I hear him. 261 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,464 No! 262 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,745 I forgive you, Seymour. 263 00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,154 I know that you'll... 264 00:12:29,306 --> 00:12:31,139 you'll plan a wonderful... 265 00:12:31,158 --> 00:12:34,168 flag day... 266 00:12:36,497 --> 00:12:37,980 Haw-haw! 267 00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:40,257 Um, I couldn't help but notice 268 00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:43,652 some lovely bunting samples in your office. 269 00:12:43,654 --> 00:12:45,170 Perhaps you could, uh... 270 00:12:45,247 --> 00:12:47,097 walk me through them? 271 00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,476 I'd like that, Gary. 272 00:12:56,247 --> 00:12:59,220 - Well, it's 9:00, so... - Please don't go. 273 00:12:59,304 --> 00:13:01,761 Let me spin just one more tale 274 00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:04,339 of the strange and fantastical. 275 00:13:04,358 --> 00:13:07,433 Cast your gaze, just above my hernia scar, 276 00:13:07,511 --> 00:13:11,346 and travel to a chillingly plausible future. 277 00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:13,590 Firemen. 278 00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:15,300 We have a report 279 00:13:15,352 --> 00:13:17,377 of subversive content in this house. 280 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:29,047 Step away from the lowbrow entertainment. 281 00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:30,915 I'm sorry, I was just curious. 282 00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:32,458 It won't happen again. 283 00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:33,626 Yeah... 284 00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:36,355 Not after a little reeducation, it won't. 285 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,217 Homer, hurry, the new episode of Robber Barons 286 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:50,643 is about to start. 287 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,647 The very idea, an elevated train under the ground? 288 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,909 I require no crystal ball to see that your invention 289 00:13:57,911 --> 00:14:01,821 will never work, Mr. Thaddeus Subway. 290 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,656 Who's that guy with the mustache? 291 00:14:03,734 --> 00:14:05,843 Who's that other mustache? 292 00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:08,161 It's so dark. Can we brighten it? 293 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,514 This is how the director meant for us to watch it. 294 00:14:10,591 --> 00:14:13,725 Our squinting reinforces the themes. 295 00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,860 It's got to be almost over, right? 296 00:14:22,936 --> 00:14:25,362 This is still the recap from last week. 297 00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:26,771 Oh... 298 00:14:26,848 --> 00:14:29,182 Homer, it's our civic duty 299 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:33,036 to watch the most densely plotted television we can. 300 00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:36,689 That's why lowbrow entertainment was outlawed. 301 00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:42,029 Hey, guys, great job on that last raid. 302 00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:45,290 We took out 32 seasons of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, 303 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,126 and the last known episode of Last Man Standing. 304 00:14:48,203 --> 00:14:50,112 Have you guys ever... 305 00:14:50,114 --> 00:14:52,723 watched any of that lowbrow stuff we burn? 306 00:14:52,799 --> 00:14:55,225 Uh, illegal much? 307 00:14:56,011 --> 00:14:58,954 All right, let's go start fires instead of putting 'em out. 308 00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,063 Up we go! 309 00:15:10,085 --> 00:15:11,749 Fire Department! 310 00:15:11,751 --> 00:15:13,026 Hmm? 311 00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:22,927 I thought goat was going to eat carrot, 312 00:15:22,929 --> 00:15:25,763 but goat chomped farmer in the junk! 313 00:15:31,162 --> 00:15:32,545 Don't burn it, lad. 314 00:15:32,622 --> 00:15:34,089 You like what you see? 315 00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:38,802 Take it, watch it. Find us. 316 00:15:49,046 --> 00:15:51,956 Did you all read Alan Sepinwall III's recap 317 00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:53,958 of the season finale of The Hapsburgs? 318 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,719 - Uh-huh. - Oh, yes, absolutely. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 319 00:15:56,738 --> 00:16:01,199 Do you guys ever wish TV could be dumb and fun? 320 00:16:03,578 --> 00:16:07,914 So when you watch it, you just laugh? 321 00:16:09,584 --> 00:16:13,044 Thank you for a lovely evening, Marge. 322 00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:32,147 Dad? What were you watching? 323 00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:35,257 Son, you're the one person in this family 324 00:16:35,335 --> 00:16:36,759 that might understand this. 325 00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:41,263 It's possible we've been wrong about everything. 326 00:16:44,511 --> 00:16:46,602 The dog that sneezed in the baby's face, 327 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,270 what's his backstory? 328 00:16:48,272 --> 00:16:50,848 There's no backstory. It just is. 329 00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:54,276 Which is its own kind of innovative narrative? 330 00:16:54,278 --> 00:16:56,037 No, no narrative! 331 00:16:57,019 --> 00:16:58,614 Forget it. 332 00:16:58,692 --> 00:17:03,285 Please, son, just don't tell anyone about this. 333 00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:05,054 I trust you. 334 00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:09,642 Reports of lowbrow contraband! 335 00:17:09,644 --> 00:17:12,220 Why, son? Why did you betray me? 336 00:17:12,222 --> 00:17:14,147 I trusted you! 337 00:17:15,317 --> 00:17:17,150 Merch. 338 00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:22,380 Burn-master General Siegfried Blaze! 339 00:17:22,382 --> 00:17:24,306 Homer, you disappoint me. 340 00:17:24,384 --> 00:17:27,827 Don't you see that we set fires for the good of humanity? 341 00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:29,887 We learned long ago that entertainment 342 00:17:29,889 --> 00:17:33,649 must fully occupy the consciousness of the population. 343 00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:37,152 You're using quality TV to control us. 344 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:41,174 Yes, these challenging shows are the perfect distraction 345 00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:44,902 from how dystopian our dystopia is. 346 00:17:44,904 --> 00:17:46,346 You monster! 347 00:17:46,348 --> 00:17:47,663 Am I? 348 00:17:47,741 --> 00:17:49,924 Do you know what entertainment was like 349 00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:51,592 in the before-times? 350 00:17:51,669 --> 00:17:54,595 Comfort shows you could just put on in any order 351 00:17:54,672 --> 00:17:57,248 while you looked at your phone. 352 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,933 Oh, that sounds like heaven. 353 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,676 Don't worry, a little reeducation 354 00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,253 and you'll be as good as new. 355 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,438 Strap him to the viewing chamber 356 00:18:04,515 --> 00:18:07,016 for four seasons of... 357 00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:09,035 Mozart in the Jungle. 358 00:18:10,764 --> 00:18:11,771 I... 359 00:18:11,848 --> 00:18:12,872 choose... 360 00:18:12,949 --> 00:18:14,874 crap! 361 00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:21,030 Barney, I can't explain, 362 00:18:21,107 --> 00:18:23,441 but I need to switch clothes with you. 363 00:18:23,443 --> 00:18:24,926 What fun! 364 00:18:29,966 --> 00:18:31,032 Huh? 365 00:18:32,376 --> 00:18:33,785 Threat neutralized. 366 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,066 The symbol from the tape. 367 00:18:40,761 --> 00:18:41,951 _ 368 00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:45,963 Please, let me in. 369 00:18:45,965 --> 00:18:49,317 I just want to watch something that isn't very good. 370 00:18:50,804 --> 00:18:51,844 Yoink! 371 00:18:52,289 --> 00:18:54,914 They said there were others like me. 372 00:19:06,619 --> 00:19:08,803 Lowbrow... 373 00:19:10,427 --> 00:19:12,915 Hey, hey. 374 00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:16,936 This is all that remains of the old civilization. 375 00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:20,089 Singing contests. Real Housewives. 376 00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:21,666 The Golden Bachelor. 377 00:19:21,668 --> 00:19:23,851 All yours to enjoy. 378 00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:27,672 I never dreamed there was this much nothing. 379 00:19:31,027 --> 00:19:34,537 Thank you, Homer, for leading us here. 380 00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:44,613 Hey, isn't that the guy who created Breaking Bad? 381 00:19:44,691 --> 00:19:47,508 Vince Gilligan? Where? 382 00:19:48,378 --> 00:19:49,543 Let them go. 383 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:51,804 They have no garbage left to watch. 384 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,699 Some say the world is destined to drown 385 00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:56,884 in an ocean of prestige television. 386 00:19:56,886 --> 00:19:58,645 But so long as we tell the tales 387 00:19:58,647 --> 00:20:01,481 of singers masked and Kardashians kept up with, 388 00:20:01,516 --> 00:20:04,225 garbage will live forever. 389 00:20:04,227 --> 00:20:06,969 And then Sheldon said, 390 00:20:07,046 --> 00:20:08,488 "Bazinga." 391 00:20:08,639 --> 00:20:11,140 So in the end, the only rules that mattered 392 00:20:11,159 --> 00:20:13,384 were the Vanderpump rules. 393 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,886 That night, my friends, 394 00:20:14,888 --> 00:20:18,389 the funniest home video in all of America 395 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,057 was deemed to be 396 00:20:20,059 --> 00:20:23,485 "Squirrel Falls in Grandma's Soup." 397 00:20:35,232 --> 00:20:37,376 Wow, those stories are amazing. 398 00:20:37,441 --> 00:20:39,760 But I guess I should be leaving this... 399 00:20:39,762 --> 00:20:42,504 strange, featureless void? 400 00:20:42,582 --> 00:20:44,857 What happened? Where am I? 401 00:20:44,859 --> 00:20:49,696 You were kind enough to listen to the required stories three. 402 00:20:49,772 --> 00:20:54,033 And this is your eternal reward. 403 00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:55,535 No! Get me out of here! 404 00:20:55,611 --> 00:20:57,537 I don't want to be a living tattoo! 405 00:20:57,613 --> 00:20:59,780 Eh, don't worry, you'll make friends in no time. 406 00:21:00,481 --> 00:21:01,523 Hi. 407 00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:04,452 ♪ I don't practice Santeria ♪ 408 00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:06,954 ♪ I ain't got no crystal ball... ♪ 409 00:21:06,956 --> 00:21:10,049 Ugh. No! 410 00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:11,200 ♪ But I ♪ 411 00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:13,202 ♪ I'd spend it all ♪ 412 00:21:13,279 --> 00:21:15,112 ♪ If I could find that jaina ♪ 413 00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:18,115 ♪ And that Sancho that she found ♪ 414 00:21:18,117 --> 00:21:20,727 ♪ Well, I'd pop a cap in Sancho ♪ 415 00:21:20,729 --> 00:21:24,880 ♪ And I'd slap her down ♪ 416 00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:27,066 ♪ What I really want to know ♪ 417 00:21:27,143 --> 00:21:29,126 ♪ Ah, baby. ♪ 418 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,112 Shh! 419 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,856 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com